Safety and discretion
Date as yourself, safely
Your secret stays yours until you choose to share it.
Your real name and email are never shown publicly, only your nearest town appears on your profile, and VIP billing leaves the site name off your statement. A free ID check (blue tick) shows who is genuine, every photo and message is screened, and you can block anyone instantly and report anything that worries you. Our support team is there around the clock.
Why safety looks different here
Dating as a trans person, or as someone who dates trans people, can risk more than a bad date: being outed to family or work, being treated as a fetish rather than a person, harassment that follows you off the site. So everything here starts from discretion.
What we keep hidden
You join with a username, and your real name and email address are never shown publicly. Location is shown as your nearest town or city, never your street or your live position, so nobody can work out where you live from your profile. You choose which photos go on your profile, and sensitive images are blurred with a warning until the viewer decides to look.
When you pay for VIP, the charge appears on your bank statement without the site name. Handy if anyone else sees your statements.
How you can tell who is real
Any member can take a free ID check (blue tick) with a government ID. Those who would rather not upload a document can do a live video check with a moderator, no documents needed, which confirms they are who they say they are. Our team can also validate a profile by hand. Age is estimated automatically, with extra checks where the law asks for them.
A blue tick tells you someone is real; whether they are good company is the fun part to find out. If you are cautious, start with members who have one.
What happens behind the scenes
Every photo, video and message is screened as it is uploaded, by software and by people. Behaviour that looks like a scammer or a bot is flagged early. If someone tries to move your conversation to WhatsApp or another outside app, you get a warning, because that is a common scam tactic. Every member has a rating built from how they behave and the feedback others give, and a one-click thumbs up or down helps keep it honest.
Abuse of any kind, including abuse aimed at someone for being trans, can be reported from within the site, and our team acts on it fast. If an image of you appears that you did not agree to, ask us to take it down and we will move quickly.
Six habits for a safe first date
- Talk on the site first. Keep the conversation here until you have a feel for them. Anyone in a hurry to switch apps or asking for money is a reason to stop.
- Have a video call. A few minutes on camera settles whether they are who they say they are, and how they treat you.
- Agree what you are both looking for. If you are a trans woman, you can tell early whether he sees you as a woman or as a fantasy. If you are an admirer, say plainly what you want and listen to the answer.
- Meet somewhere public and LGBTQ+ friendly. A busy bar or café, a gallery, a park in daylight. Get yourself there and home.
- Tell a friend. Share who you are meeting, where, and when you expect to be back. Agree a check-in message.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off, leave. You owe nobody an explanation, and you can block them afterwards.
If you are not out yet
You decide how much to share, and when. Use a photo that shows you as you want to be seen, but think about whether it could be recognised by people you know. Never share your workplace, your surname or your home address until you are ready.
If you are worried about harassment, online or in person, or just need someone to talk to, an LGBTQ+ helpline can help: Galop and Switchboard LGBT+ in the UK, the LGBT Ireland helpline in Ireland, Trans Lifeline in the USA and Canada, QLife in Australia and OutLine in New Zealand. You can find more in our guide to dating with confidence as a trans person.
Help when you need it
Our support team is there 24/7 by chat and messaging. We follow industry best practice through our involvement with the Online Dating and Discovery Association, and the site runs on secure, encrypted infrastructure that keeps your personal data, messages and payments safe.
Peace of mind before you start
Is My Transgender Secret safe?
Yes. Names and emails stay hidden, location shows only your nearest town, there is a free ID check, content is screened on upload, and you can block or report anyone at any time.
Can someone find out where I live?
Not from the site. Your profile shows your nearest town or city only, never an address or live location.
What should I do if someone is abusive?
Block them, then report the profile or the message. Our team acts on reports fast. If you feel in danger, contact the police.
How much do I have to share?
You choose how much you share with the community. Your real name and email are never shown publicly, your location shows only your nearest town, and nobody sees your home address.
Meet people who respect you
Join, take the free ID check, and start talking on your own terms.
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